Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
