I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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