He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
