She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
