3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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