We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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