he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
