Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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