I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
