I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
