Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
