what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
