are you still at the devil's house?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
