Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
