Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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