Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
