We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
