no, he came in my armpit
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
