I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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