I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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