Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize