you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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