Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
