Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize