Don't you send me to vm
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
