He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
