just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
