Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
