Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
