i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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