Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
