Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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