I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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