Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
