Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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