At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just cropdusted the office
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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