The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
tell me about the fingering
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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