I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
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Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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