Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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