i would punch a child for taco bell
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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