Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
