If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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