never play flip cup with pint glasses
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
