bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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