He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
someone owes me an orgasm
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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