I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
