There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
