I think I am morally bankrupt
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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