i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
this is an emotional support booty call
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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