I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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