dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
