tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
