hotel room ftw
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What a dumb baby whore.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
