Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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