I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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