I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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