Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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