She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
