Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
