I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think I sprained my soul last night
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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