you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
