I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
